I can’t help but dream of them whenever I’m asleep.
The one that had stolen my heart, my first love. She was the one that spoke to me every single day, that wanted to grow old with me. I loved her more than anything, I would’ve gladly given my life to save hers, because she was my everything. I’ll never forget the support she gave me during my darkest time.
The one that I used and abused, but had the balls to say that I loved her, even though I clearly never showed her much compassion. Who still occasionally talks to me for whatever reason(s). Possibly to torture me for my wrong doings. I can’t help but reply to her whenever she does message me, because giving her my attention makes me feel less guilty for all the shit I’ve done to her…that I still do to her. Even if I’m a failure when it comes to conversations.
The one that I never told how I felt, because I was too scared of the possible backlash. She was around me almost every single day. Always managing to make me happy, even if she wasn’t trying to. I managed to get lost by staring into her blue eyes. I haven’t seen her in so long, I hope life has treated her well.
It’s always one of these that I dream about. The dreams depict a life where I lived happily with one of these people.
If this…when this…ends, what will you be?
Will you be the one that I never told I loved because I don’t want to fuck this up? The one that I was never sure about until it was too late? Only time will tell.